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I have outlasted all desire...
My dreams and I have grown apart...
My grief alone is left entire...
The gleamings of an empty heart...
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Natasha Beddingfield - "Single" [16 Nov 2006|05:28pm]

Ah yeah that's right
All you single people out there
This is for you

I'm not waitin' around for a man to save me
(Cos I'm happy where I am)
Don't depend on a guy to validate me
(No no)
I don't need to be anyone's baby
(Is that so hard to understand?)
No I don't need another half to make me whole

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant

I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be
I'm single
(Right now)
That's how I wanna be

Ah yeah Uh Huh that's right

Don't need to be on somebody's arm to look good
(I like who I am)
I'm not saying I don't wanna fall in love 'cos I would
I'm not gonna get hooked up just 'cos you say I should
(Can't romance on demand)
I'm gonna wait so I'm sorry if you misunderstood


Everything in it's right time everything in it's right place
I know I'll settle down one day
But 'til then I like it this way it's my way
Eh I like it this way

Make your move if you want doesn't mean I will or won't
I'm free to make my mind up you either got it or you don't
'Til then I'm single

This is my current single status
My declaration of independence
There's no way I'm tradin' places
Right now a star's in the ascendant/,
Pink mush?

Meet Jr.!! [13 Nov 2006|04:02pm]
[ mood | happy ]

I named him Tigger Junior, because he looks just like Tigger!
He's around 6 weeks old, and I took him to work with me today to get him checked out, and hes good, just a little dehydrated...
Hubby found him on the side of the road this morning :(

We're going to be fostering him until someone adopts him for Second Chance Pets. If anyone knows someone or has a good (inside) home for him, contact me by email (klf_legg85@ yahoo*dot*com), or call Second Chance Pets at

PO Box 1216, League City TX 77574

Pink mush?

It's Been A While [26 Oct 2006|01:12pm]
I haven't been on lj in a long time, mainly because my husband, pets and myspace take up all of my spare time, but i'll be updating whenever i blog on myspace now, so I guess that means i'm back!

Gosh I woke up this morning to take hubby to work and felt bad, but by the time I got to our neighborhood, I felt terrible. My fever is 101.4..I think it's starting to come down now.

I want even feeling well enough to make it to training today, I hope I didn't miss anything, and I hope my managers not mad at me. I did call in planty of time though, so I hope they understand.

I got a few meds from walmart, and mom is sending me money for the dr tomorrow, so hopefully i'll start feeling better then.

I'm laying here now covered in vicks munching cough drops trying to breathe, I think I may take a nap soon.
Pink mush?

[23 Mar 2006|09:03pm]
[ mood | Sick ]

I am now officially grossed out and just...ick.
Sex is always the furthest thing from my mind, but he wants it, so I do it for him anyway, whether I want to or not, and he still has crap to complain about.
I looked in the mirror and it looked incredibly gross. Like two huge animal rutting in mud. Gross. It wouldn't bother me if I never had to have sex (with ANYone) again.
I dunno what it is, I never even think about it anymore. I barely ever had a sex drive before I got on my meds, now its nonexistant. I don't even think about it.

Pink mush?

[18 Mar 2006|10:45pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

It's really lonely sitting around here. I have barely a job, no friends, noone to talk to all day,- or even when I get home for that matter. All I have is my pets, they're the most entertaining thing I have to do these days. I call my mom at least 3 times a day, so much that she gets tired of me calling lol I call for the 2nd time and she's like, "What is it?"
The only phone conversation i've had in the past year or so has been with bill collectors. Sad.
I just wish I had someone to talk to, maybe spend time with, relate to, who can relate to me, someone to keep me company. Make me feel better.

Pink mush?

I'm so sick I feel like Ne-Yo [15 Mar 2006|02:35am]
[ mood | sick ]

I'm SO sick of cramming myself on that raggedy ass couch with him every night

I'm SO sick of drying off with half wet towels infested with the little bit of hair he has LEFT in them, they they stick all over me when I dry off.

I'm SO sick of not being able to drive home because I have to hang around here until he needs a ride to or from work.

I'm SO sick of him not being appreciative of anything I do. (Which is why I quit doing anything at all)

I'm SO sick of looking at his "you know what" dangle and flop between his legs while he walks naked around the house, I just want to grab the scissors on the table and snip it off

I'm SO sick of freezing and having a closed (not stuffy anymore, now it's CLOSED) nose because he wants it -0 in this apartment at all times

I'm SO sick of not having a bed to sleep in and losing sleep and feeling like shit because of it. (Ive never NOT had a bed to sleep in, my family would never let me do that)

I'm SO sick of THIS

So why can't I turn off the radio?

Pink mush?

x posted to myspace, which is probably where ill be updating these days... [11 Mar 2006|09:03pm]

Today, it seems i'm a bigger basketcase than I usually am, and that's saying something.

So it turns out, that I can't go home, not a huge surprise to me, since I had a strong premonition I wouldn't anyway, it just broke my heart. Another thing to add to the list of wrongs in life.

I just don't feel like I have anything to live for in life anymore. I'm not in school, I don't have any kind of meaningful job, no friends, noone worth handing around for except my pets, half of which I can't even keep.

I'm really feeling the effects of life, not to mention the aftershocks of not having my meds in the past week or two, which is a double whammy for me, and I just feel worthless now. No part worth salvaging, just throw me all away.

Pink mush?

[11 Mar 2006|06:57pm]
I'm starting to believe trying is a complete waste of time, I can't go home, I don't want to stay here, and i'm poor and broke, scrounging for the next penny to come from thin air. I keep getting the runaround with my jobs, got fired, and can't/don't want to find another job.
I've felt like crap for the past few days and i'm not on my medication, which could be a cause. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm not happy at all, nomatter what. I wish I could just die and get it overwith.
Pink mush?

[09 Mar 2006|02:53pm]
[ mood | sad ]

I guess I might as well hang it up...
I mean, i'm never going to get back home anytime soon, nomatter what kind of job I get, or what kind of place to live I might have, because I have the stress of this year long elase in a place I didn't even want to live, and even moreso the issue of not being able to bring mark with me. Yeah, I could, and piss of everyone that matters most to me, but more than that, i'd be repeating the same thing i've done the past two years. I'll never get any further ahead enough to dig myself out of this hole if I keep doing the same things that got me in it in the first place.
I dont know what to do. I'd like to go home, rent that trailer, and get back in school, and have a normal life near my family and friends. That's it, the simple life. Not stuck worrying about all this useless crap, and someone else's cargo that I don't need.
But that won't ever happen.

Pink mush?

[05 Mar 2006|07:10am]
the only morning this week that i dont have to get up and iron his raggedy shirt and i wake up at 6am anyway. thats a bitch.
Pink mush?

[05 Mar 2006|03:43am]
Your Ideal Relationship is Friends Only

Honestly, you're not really ready for a relationship right now.
And you prefer to keep things platonic, for now.
That's not to say that one of your friends could be dating material.
You're just taking a break for now.
Pink mush?

[05 Mar 2006|03:38am]
The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is high. You can't resist desire and lust.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.
Pink mush?

[01 Mar 2006|01:40pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

I've decided i'd like being with someone who enjoys many of the same things I do, but not all, i'd like to leave us each room for new things. He/She should have a passion for animals, respect their elders, and have a strong, close-knit family background and values much like mine. My dream person should be ambitious, educated, open-minded, should want the best for themselves and me in life, and should have a religious background. They should be supportive, smart, and creative. My dream person should also love me as well as come from a similar background and location, and must also want children.
I'd like to settle down close to our home, on a small farm/ranch with horses, cattle, pigs, lambs, and other domestic animals, as wel as all my cats and i'd like to have two dogs. I'd love to raise my kids on a farm, to teach them responsibility, and give them the same experiences I had growing up, since most of my family are famers/ranchers or involved in agriculture or agribusiness, and are entrepreneurs. They'd get plenty of excercise, plenty of living space, and grow up in a nice environment.
My ideal person should be independent yet loving, self motivated, and also help me to be more responsible, and self-motivated also. They should be someone not only I, but my family and friends get along with, funloving, and active, and must love music, tennis, volleyball, basketball, and football. He/She MUST BE AN AGGIE!

To be continued...maybe...

1 Flie|Pink mush?

[27 Feb 2006|06:08am]
I was just further aquainted with the cutest, sweetest, most adorable kitten i've ever met. His family is mistreating him. He belongs to the people above us, and they've left him outside all day, on days before alone, but today when I came home from work at 1pm, he was out on the balcony, I said hi, and cooed at him as usual when he's out there, and went inside to take a nap. Later, at 8:45pm I went back outside to see my husband and a friend, and he was still there, alone, and hadn't been fed since at least 1pm, and he was also crying for food and help- loudly. He cried all night until 4am, when I just couldnt take it anymore and took a few buckets outside, stacked them up, and reached and got him from the balcony. He ate 2 pouches of food, and just wouldnt keep off me. He was rubbing on me, loving on me, walking around my legs, nudging my hands, purring and talking to me. So here at 6am, he has a ball, and his new name is Piper. Hes crying for me outside right now. He's the most loving kitten i've ever met, and hes absolutely georgeous, he's got the most unique face and color i've ever seen.
I wonder if I can get Mark to let me keep him instead of one of the kittens. Either way we'll still have 7. Hes just wonderful, and I can't stand the thought of him out in the cold, and one thing i've already realized about him - he hates to be alone, he always has to have someone to love on. I haven't ever seen his owners, but my husband says he has. There's got to be someone there, but why would they leave their kitten on the balcony upstairs with no food, water, crying his lungs out with noone home? I really don't get it I would never do that to ANY of my animals ever.
Pink mush?

[22 Feb 2006|11:39pm]
[ mood | sad ]

im going home, enrolling back in school, finally get to take that zoology class i wanted to take in january :)
i get to redo my room, put my new seton my bed, and finally get to go to the movies with stef like shes been asking :) Its time for me now not me and someone else. No struggling, no figuring where this and that bills money is comming from.

Who am I kidding? I cant unlatch myself from him long enough to go pee, let alone do something benefiting for me. A year from now i'll still be in the same position, if not worse, and my peers will have surpassed me double. I by that time will probably end up like his nothing sister, working job to job with a deadbeat husband, and nothing to show for the sacrifice of my life except bills, debt, a heart of regret, and a heartbroken, dissapointed family.

I want to finish the college life i started before him, I want an education, I want a successful, driven, smart, abitious, educated boyfriend, not someone I just settled for with no ambition, no education, and no plan or way to take care of himself let alone me. I want a wedding, I want kids, I want a successful career I enjoy, and I want my family.

I dont want to settle. But I think I did.

Pink mush?

[19 Feb 2006|05:01pm]
leave it to me to pick a sorry person to be with for this long. No help with the animals no help around the house, no help with laundry, but he expects it.
Oh well, I guess you get what you deserve.
Pink mush?

[17 Feb 2006|11:15am]
[ mood | sad ]

I didn't really sleep at all last night, I kept waking up, and tossing, and turning. I finally fell asleep at the crack of dawn this morning, after taking 2 sinud pilld, and 50 mg of unisom.

Pink mush?

[17 Feb 2006|12:31am]
[ mood | sad ]

I can't sleep at all. It's almost 12:20am, and I haven't slept all day with the exception of a 20 minute nap. I didn't sleep last night either, there was no way in hell I could've had a chance.
These past few weeks have been possibly the most lonely time i'veever experienced in my life. I have no company, noone to talk to, to share with, except the occasional few minutes on the phone with friends who are actually doing something with themselves. I feel like i'm going to waste away here in the next year, if so, I wish it would hurry so I don't suffer too long.
I really don't know where to start now. I can't go home, he's made it very clear, which means i'm trapped here, and it makes me feel like a child. I don't want to make a life here, I just don't know what to do. I have to get some kind of productive job, and I can't do that without going to some kind of school, and I don't want to go to a university here. None of them offer my major, so i've given up. I'll most likely end up going to Texas School of Business and taking online Vet Tech classes from somewhere. I can't even go to Tomball to school like I want to. This is just a bad time created by bad decisions and me letting someone else's choices influence the ones I make.
Now I make my late New Years' resolution: I Will No Longer Let Others Influence The Choices I Make For Myself In Life, Love, or Anything That Makes Me Happy.

Pink mush?

[16 Feb 2006|06:29pm]
[ mood | sad ]

I'm ready to go home now...I miss my family, I have noone here, and I want to see the furniture mom got for thr new house.

Pink mush?

[15 Feb 2006|02:26am]
[ mood | sad ]

ithought hed at least sit by me tonight, i guess he got what he was expecting toight and it was back to the game.

Pink mush?

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